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Published Monday, December 28, 2015

Chinese Food and Jews

Let’s face it, Jews have a love for, actually an addiction to, Chinese food, and during the Christmas holiday and New Year’s, that love and addiction will be satiated by visits to our favorite Chinese food restaurants.

We recommend that those with high blood pressure and heart conditions, stay away from shrimp and lobster sauce. There is enough chemical, cholesterol and salt, including msg, in this dish to set off a heart attack.

For those not suffering from high blood pressure or heart conditions, we would recommend shrimp and lobster sauce because there is something undefinably satisfying about stabbing a shrimp with your fork and then sinking the shrimp into the lobster sauce and then slowly putting the amalgam into your mouth – repeatedly. Voila!

Sesame chicken, duck, beef and black bean sauce, God forbid pork and a hundred things Jewish people are not supposed to be eating will be consumed during the holidays at our favorite Chinese food restaurants.

We’re not keeping score if you aren’t.

Enjoy. Then take the time to repent and to swear it off.

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